NDMstang65
Group on facebook...good for a laugh

Name:        
MAN LAW
Type:        
Just for Fun - Fan Clubs
Description:        
1. No wasted beer in the name of humor.

2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control

3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her its a 6 day waiting period.

4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full resposibility of driving his frinds home)

5. Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.

6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals, law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.

7. If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.

8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.

9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.

10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed.

11. Use of the word Canada is prohibited, the word shall be substituted with "the place above America" or any other variant of America such as, place above United States, The Stars and Stripes, and etc.

12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.


13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.

14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repayed.

15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.

16. It is PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS with no shoot. End of discussion.

17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.

18. You poke it you own it.

19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.

20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.

21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count.. rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.

22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E .. Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet.. or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants.. (or any other article of clothing).

23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violater of this law, should pop his collar.

24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.

25. BEING GAY IS NOT ALLOWED... EVER, NO EXCEPTIONS. All gay "people" lose the title of man, and should never be referred to, in any context, as man.

26. All men must eat meat. A ****load of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegitarian, or eat sick **** like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.

27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.

28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry"

29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are seperated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.

30. Under no circumstance should any one man ****block another mans attempt at getting some tang. Lets just leave that up to the tangs fat friend.

31. Every man should watch sportscenter at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recomended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.

32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes.

33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.

34. Cheerleading is not a sport.

35. Women can't drive.

36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10.

37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not.

38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you dont agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support

39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.

40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.

41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal.

42. A man will not live in his parents house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.

43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". and the right to leave the room.

44. Sex is more important then talking

45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.

46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking.

47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat.

48. No fruit in beer.

49. We will continue to use the D Fence sign as well as showing love for Off fence.

50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.

51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes.

52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza.

53. If you spill a man
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ngsm13
Lawl.

Good one.
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JAY1ER
that must of took for ever to type
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Iconoclast
boo

use of bad grammar (including bad use of "then") fawks it all up. Bad grammar is teh funny-sucker
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NDMstang65
New addition:

96. No real man should ever be a grammar nazi. Especially when reading the laws of man law.
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Broken Silence - Johnny
Quote:
Originally posted by NDMstang65:
New addition:

96. No real man should ever be a grammar nazi. Especially when reading the laws of man law.
you took the words out of my mouth.
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Iconoclast
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8675309
Quote:
Originally posted by Broken Silence - Johnny:
Quote:
quote:
Originally posted by NDMstang65:
New addition:

96. No real man should ever be a grammar nazi. Especially when reading the laws of man law.
you took the words out of my mouth.
agreed
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Mr. C
Good post. Rule 69 should be in the male constiution.
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caraudiophile
Quote:
Originally posted by 8675309:
Quote:
quote:
Originally posted by Broken Silence - Johnny:
Quote:
quote:
Originally posted by NDMstang65:
New addition:

96. No real man should ever be a grammar nazi. Especially when reading the laws of man law.
you took the words out of my mouth.
agreed
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Bryan Gibson
that is awesome
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Iggys Ghost
I approve of this thread.

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Broken Silence - Johnny
I wonder if this group came about before or after the Miller Lite "man law" commercials...Its too bad that miller lite has good commercials, cuz their beer sure sucks...
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SLAB
Miller Lite FTW!!!!! you can like a team and not drink that piss water..


kidding johnny
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