bignoiz
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment.



This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:


Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.


Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.


Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:




* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
go to China or Sri Lanka .


* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
Arabs.


* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .



* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..



* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .




* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .



* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:


1) S pending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.


(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !


No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
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97Cavy
Sounds like a plan to me
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The Repo Man
That is the most useful bit of advice I have read on here ever.

Seriously, Thank You.
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HCCAfan
i lol'd
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Iconoclast
what, no prostitutes? :'(
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JohnnyKo12
I don't want to support China, but I don't have 1080P in my bathroom yet. Sorry, gotta do it
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Broken Silence - Johnny
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel " pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land". Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land".

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels and mortgaged the promised land!
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tekk45
Make sure you get an American prostitute and not one trafficked from another country(get to know your local pimp). And you guys forgot about guns, but good ole American iron! Make your own beer/alcohol, buy the supplies from your local hardware store/supplier.
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Iconoclast
speaking of that, I heard TN is getting some major investments from a major brewing company to grow ingredients for beer. I don't remember if it was hops, barley, or what, but it was something.
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